Anyone can suffer from the baby blues after pregnancy – it’s important to ask for help . Pic: Lwin Mg Mg

WHEN a woman hears those magic words, “You’re pregnant,” it can seem like all of her prayers have been answered.

She passes the next nine months walking on air, excited at the prospect of having a new addition to the family. When the big day arrives and her gift is finally delivered, everyone is ecstatic and, as the mother, she is expected to be the happiest one of all. But for some reason she finds she’s not happy, and suddenly it dawns on her, ‘Maybe I never wanted a baby in the first place’.

It is a strange position to be in but the reality is that it’s more common than people think. It’s called “the baby blues” and affects up to 80 percent of mothers, who will suffer a letdown of some sort beginning on the third or fourth day after delivery.

Symptoms include hyper-sensitivity, feeling over-whelmed, irritability, im-patience and sadness.

“I was so happy when I was pregnant,” said 23-year-old Ma Aye Nilar Thet. “But after Nyan Lin Tun was born I became frustrated with the smallest things and started believing that he was taking up too much of my time, especially when I couldn’t get any sleep.”

After a few weeks of feeling this way, Nilar realised that something was wrong.
“Even though I was looking after my son the best I could, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough,” said Nilar.

Nilar’s mother moved in to help her look after the baby and keep on top of the house chores.

“It helped when my mother moved in, but I still wanted my old lifestyle back.”
Obstetrician and gynae-cologist Dr Soe Lwin said that the baby blues can affect all mothers, whether they are first-time parents or welcoming their third child into the world.

“When women are confined to the home and expected to take on a huge responsibility, it can be very daunting,” he said in an attempt to explain how mothers can feel after childbirth. “All the worries of the world are placed upon their shoulders as they obsess about their newborn’s well-being, as well as their own.”

He added that some women are also unhappy with their appearance after childbirth, which adds to their worries.

“Looking in the mirror everyday and not feeling like yourself is de-pressing. But it can be hard to do anything about it when you’re busy looking after a baby.”

The baby blues is not to be confused with post-natal depression — a mental illness that is believed to affect an estimated 15 percent of mothers worldwide. It is thought to be underdiagnosed because of the stigma attached to it.

Symptoms of PND include feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and guilt, as well as panic attacks, a change in appetite and obsessive thoughts.

If these feelings occur after giving birth, it is crucial that the sufferer seeks treatment from a qualified mental health expert.

If feelings of depression are only mild or fleeting, it may only be baby blues, in which case the support of family and friends is vital to recovery.

Nilar’s husband Ko Aung Linn Htun said getting through the first three months of dealing with his wife’s blues was tough.

“I didn’t really know much about the baby blues and at the time I didn’t realise how bad it could be,” he said. “I must admit that I neglected her and that added to the problem.

“But one day I saw an article about it in a health magazine and I started to realise the importance of her feelings.”

The couple began to communicate more and Ko Aung Linn Tun learned to be sympathetic of his wife’s worries, which had before seemed so trivial and inane.

He started to take on more tasks at home, but still found it hard to spend as much time as he would have liked with his family.

“I felt sorry for her because she was going through this and I couldn’t be with her all the time. I had to run the family business.”

Ko Aung Linn Tun would arrive home at around 8pm at night and find himself exhausted after a day’s work.

“Even though it was hard to spend time together, once I knew and understood what was going on inside my wife’s head I could be more supportive and I think that helped,” he said.

“The most important thing you can do is be supportive and understanding of what they are going through, listen and communicate.”

Nilar and Ko Aung Linn Tun’s son is nearly one year old and Nilar’s depression has lifted.

“I got through that critical time with the help of my husband and friends,” she said.

“I think it really helped to set aside some time to talk with people.”
Every Sunday Nilar catches up with friends from college and talks about her experiences.

“Sometimes Ko Aung Linn Tun and I will go to the movies by ourselves and have some time out. These days I actually look forward to getting home to look after Nyan Lin Tun. I think I am finally cured.”

The baby blues can affect women in different ways, but if it is severe and cannot be treated at home, it may be PND.

This is a serious illness. For more information, call the Yangon Mental Health Hospital on 728 814.