FIGHTING back the tears, 45 year-old U Tun Myint said he has one big regret. “I wanted my daughter to be an engineer. So, I forced her to do an engineering course. This is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

You see, his daughter, since the age of four, had always shown a great interest in painting and art. Despite noticing her natural interest in the area, U Tun Myint wanted his daughter to study engineering, hoping that this would bring her success in life. He wouldn’t accept what his beloved daughter wanted to do. “One day, she showed me a paper and said. ‘Dad, look, it’s you and Mum. It’s a rough drawing of two people’.”

Daw Ni Ni Aung's son plays guitar with his father. Pic: Aung Tun Win

“Honestly, I was pleased.” His face wrinkled out a grin. It seemed like he was remembering, despite his aversion, how proud he was of her.

“Oh, it’s a nice picture. As a parent, I should have been able to say this to her honestly, but I don’t know why I couldn’t. Instead, I took the paper and scolded her, told her not to do it again. I was afraid that she would fail in her education if she wasted her time with art,” said U Tun Myint, a local trader in Yangon.

Ultimately, it seems, his decision has brought more sorrow than success. “Since she was young, she always obeyed us without questioning anything. But I could tell she was never happy doing so.”

While many of us may have similar stories to share, parents today are changing their ways to accommodate their children more. While change has been slow, a shift away from traditionally conservative parenting is occurring.

A Yangon-based music instructor admitted that there is still a small number of narrow-minded parents, who have a negative image of the music industry, but they are a dying breed.

“Most parents used to look at music with contempt. Some people said we artists just do as we like. Some take drugs in the name of music, party etc. But the last few years has seen a lot of those prejudices disappear and parents are coming to the arts with their children. They are more interested in their children’s hobbies, particularly music,” said Ko Doo from Art Music Academy.

He said the main reason was that the some private schools have recently introduced art and music as a subject. As schools became interested in the arts, and international education, they have gradually accepted this,” he said.

The numbers of students in his school is increasing year by year. “When I started the school in 1997, I had only two or three students. But now I have ten times that.”

Daw Ni Ni Aung, 47, is one mother who has sent her son to the school so that he can learn guitar.

“When he said he wanted to play guitar, his father sent him to Ko Doo’s school without hesitation. He gets a lot of support from us,” she said, adding that her husband regularly picks her son up after class and helps buy the guitars.

According to Daw Ni Ni Aung, her husband had been on the wrong side of some over-zealous parenting. “When my husband was young, he wanted to be an artist. But my in-laws didn’t give him a chance. So he had to follow his interest without them knowing and that was hard. He doesn’t want his children to feel like him.”

“Another reason is that now we see many people creating successful careers in art and music. They can now earn a lot compared to the past. It stops the misconceptions among people,” she added.

She also has another optimistic point of view for her son’s hobby. “He used to play in the dangerous streets and if he wasn’t there he would waste his time playing video games. But now, he practices his music in his room whenever he is free. Now we don’t need to worry like before.”

Since her son has studied guitar she has noticed that he has got higher grades in school exams and has developed good communication skills compared to his peers.

“If a child can do his hobby freely, there are many advantages for their mental, physical and emotional growth,” said Ko Doo in support.

“He has to practice with all the different musical notes and remember them. The notes are complex. School work becomes easy after that.”

An art teacher from Space Art Studio said children are old enough to appreciate aesthetic beauty — what they like is what they like.

“When they learn art, they look at everything from a fresh angle and it is very useful for their development,” said Ko Zay Yar Aye, who received a Master degree in Art Education from Tokyo Gakugei University.

“In the past, parents thought doing extra things, like hobbies, besides education was a waste of time,” he said adding that parents around the world are accepting this change.

“When you encourage them, they feel like you are always standing by their side. If you refuse to do so, they won’t say anything but they might feel unhappy.”

The real trick is identifying your child’s interests and supporting that. As Ko Doo explained: “I had an experience with an odd parent. One day, a mother called me up and asked why her daughter can’t play piano as well as her classmates. I knew the daughter was not interested in piano but she had no idea. I asked her how much her child practiced at home. Do you know what her answer was? She never touches it. So it’s not about one thing or another, its about what your child wants and what you as a family can do.”